I unintentionally offended someone yesterday afternoon and I've really been beating myself up over it. She's a woman I regard very highly, and I was mortified at the outcome caused by my words. I sent her a heartfelt apology, but it was the end of her workday and I don't know if she received it before she went home. In my mind I was thinking, I hope she doesn't stress over this all night. I hope she can shake this off and have a peaceful evening.
We all have enough stress as it is, no one needs to be burdened by an unintentional offense. I was planning in my head that I should bring her flowers and a handwritten note of apology first thing in the morning.
Yesterday was Day 130 of my 365 Day Handstand Challenge, so after all of this happened I went to do my handstand practice and I *could**not* *balance*. I just couldn't.
So I started thinking about what was wrong with my handstands. Was I being too strong in my legs? Was I being too rigid in my shoulders? I felt like my core muscles weren't engaging like they usually do. I started thinking that it's a good thing I have an appointment with my awesome chiropractor tomorrow. She has an amazing way of making my body function better.
I started thinking that I have control only over my own body. I don't have control over the weather or the wind. I only have control over how I set my hands down, how strongly I kick up, and how I engage my shoulders and core.
And then I realized that in the bigger picture, I have control only over me. If this woman is mad or offended over my comments, I really don't have any control over that. My words were misconstrued and they caused offense. I did my best to send her a very sincere apology. And after that I just have to let go because it's not me anymore, it's her.
I'm usually not big on mantras, but I found "I only have control over me" repeating in my mind. And I was surprised that each handstand became a little stronger. And even in this pretty strong wind before a great rainstorm, I was able to maintain my balance.
This is a new lesson for me, so I'd love to have the benefit of your experience if you're willing to share. Please post a comment below about your experience with knowing that you only have control over you. I bet your stories will help this lesson sink in for me, and probably for others too.